Introspection
by tilleygirl
Summary: Mary contemplates her relationship with Marshall.
1. Chapter 1 Sunsets Can Be Iluminating

Chapter 1 – Sunsets Can Be Illuminating

''It's not much farther'', Marshall said, taking Mary's hand and leading her along the trail. ''I promise you, this will be worth the walk.'' Mary followed begrudgingly, letting her hand rest passively in his. She didn't want to be here. _No, _she amended to herself, _I don't want to be with Marshall._ She glanced over at him. His eyes were focused straight ahead on the path. This was a mistake coming with him. It was all wrong between them. Ever since he learned about her engagement, things had been awkward. They had been angry with each other before. Well, mostly Mary had been angry with Marshall. He rarely got angry with her. And Mary got over her temper tantrums quickly. But this felt different. Marshall had been stiff and distant. Mary was avoiding him as much as she could. They had never talked about the toast Marshall had given, the fact that his feelings were now out in the open. Their easy going companionship was strained. Marshall was hurt and embarrassed. Mary was confused by the murkiness of her own feelings. She'd been surprised when he'd approached her early in the day, saying he had something he wanted to show her and asking her to meet him that evening at one of the trail heads in the Sandia Mountains. She had been reluctant, but she had finally agreed, realizing she had missed him, missed spending time with him outside of work, missed _**talking **_with him. Now, looking at his impassive face, she was having second thoughts.

The trail became steeper and more narrow. Marshall dropped her hand and led the way, leaning forward slightly against the increasing incline of the path. Mary watched him walking ahead of her, his tall, lanky frame easily navigating the rocky path. He had a smooth, fluid gait that was a pleasure to watch. She found herself admiring the view of his backside, nicely filling out his jeans. He really did have a rather nice tush. She idly wondered what it would feel like to squeeze his bum and grinned at the thought of his reaction. _Might almost be worth it to see the look on his face. _Pushing down the sudden impulse that arose from that thought, she shook her head, clearing the image from her mind.

She trudged behind him, feeling again the twinge of guilt. She was hurting him. She didn't think she would ever forget the look on his face as he delivered that toast. _A declaration really. _She could try to pretend his statement that he loved her was meant in friendship only. But she had watched his face, taut with pain. He wouldn't even look at her. She had seen it in his face, heard it in his voice, the pain that was verging on tears. But he had truly meant it when he said he wanted only happiness for her. Even though that happiness came at the cost of his own. And every night she went home to Raph, she was hurting him. He loved her. She could hardly wrap her mind around that. Had no idea what to do with it. But _oh God I'm hurting him _and Mary ached inside at the thought of causing Marshall pain. The one pure, true person in her life.

She contemplated their relationship, as they climbed higher up the trail. She'd been feeling strangely bereft the last few days. Besides the newfound tension between them, she suddenly put her finger on what else had changed. The loss of his touch. When he took her hand this evening it was the first time he had touched her since the impromptu engagement party.

It had happened so gradually, she hadn't even been aware of how physical he had become with her, until it was gone. She frowned as she thought about it, searching through her memories and finally traced the start of it back to his recovery from his gunshot wound. She had spent hours by his bedside, holding his hand, willing him to live. She began greeting him and taking leave of him with a kiss on the cheek, easy to do while he was unconscious, nonchalantly continued after he woke up. She realized in stunned recognition, that _**she**_ had started it, and Marshall had just continued with the practice. After his release from the hospital, Marshall had begun squeezing her hand at times, then not dropping it. He would hug her and let his arm linger around her shoulders. He had started reciprocating her peck on the cheek, like they were French or something, while still in the hospital. Mary had dropped it as soon as he was released, but he continued kissing her cheek when he dropped her off from an excursion out with a witness. There was the occasional brush of his lips against hers, so feather light she was never sure if he had changed his mind mid-way. He had found his way through her do not touch defenses and she hadn't even been aware of it.

She drew her breath in sharply. There had been that kiss a few weeks ago. It had been different, but she had been so oblivious she hadn't realized its significance before now. He had dropped her off at her house after a particularly stressful day. One of her witnesses had lost a child, and after a day spent with the grief stricken parents, Mary was close to tears herself. Marshall had hugged her, then put a finger under her chin, lifting her face up, watching the tears start to slip down her cheeks. He had wiped them away and leaned in to kiss her. It was a soft, gentle kiss that held no passion, just comfort. His lips moved slowly over hers, giving of himself and not demanding anything of her. She had leaned into that kiss, let him taste her lips, taken what comfort she could from him. How could she have not seen it? She was only aware of the solace she was drawing from him. She had been so emotionally drained, it just didn't register that the kiss was different from those previous occasional touches of his lips to hers. He was telling her then how he felt, opening himself up to her with that gentle, sweet kiss. And then several days later he had noticed her ring finger...

Unbidden, a memory of another kiss came to her. A hot, urgent, needy kiss in a barn. She'd caught a glimpse of the embers smoking under the calm exterior. It had scared the hell out of her and she'd resolutely put any thoughts of _**that **_kiss out of her mind. She sighed, curbing her impulse to lodge a complaint about how long it was taking to get to this surprise.

''Here we go,'' Marshall said as they came around a bend and the path widened out again. Mary roused herself from her introspection and looked over at him. Marshall stopped and drew her in front of him. There was a clear view of a peak in the distance. The sun was sinking very low on the horizon. He checked his watch. ''Three minutes to go'', he murmured. Mary waited a moment impatiently, then asked, ''What is it you want to show me?''

''Just hold on a minute,'' he said, as the sun started to slip down behind the mountain. She crossed her arms and turned to look at him. _Just as impatient as ever. But good heavens, she is so beautiful. _He reached out and gently put his hand around her waist and turned her to face the sinking sun. Stepping behind her he pointed. ''Look,'' he said in a low voice. The sun sank behind the tallest peak and a brilliant corona of red and orange lit up the outline of the mountain. Shades of pinks, reds and browns moved across the ridges and valleys, the sky above a brilliant crimson. Mary's mouth fell open. It was beautiful, stunning, like nothing she'd ever seen. They stood and watched for an endless time, spokes of yellow and red and orange shooting out into the deepening blue of the surrounding sky. The last vestiges of the days light was softly diffused around them. The brilliance of the reds and yellows gradually faded to a smudged blue. As twilight fell and darkness came on, Marshall leaned forward and pointed with his left hand. ''Look,'' he whispered close to her ear. She followed his pointing arm as the full moon rose up behind the mountain, the last glow of the sunset fading. Mary made a small whoosh as she let out her held breath. The rising moon was luminous, brightly lighting up the darkening sky. Various features of the surface were visible in the crystal clear atmosphere. Marshall's arm moved higher to trace out the faintly shining stars. Mary tilted her head back to follow his pointing finger and leaned back against his chest.

''Marshall, it's beautiful. There...there aren't words for it.'' She relaxed back into him, resting her head on his shoulder, and his right arm came around her abdomen, lightly holding her to him. He launched into a commentary about the different stars, Mary smiling as she listened. She couldn't locate anything beyond the Big Dipper. Marshall seemed to know the names of every one, the legends associated with each constellation. Mary closed her eyes and listened to Marshall's deep voice, the familiar cadences comforting and calming. Letting his voice wash over her, she relaxed to the point she was almost drowsy, allowing him to partially support her weight. When he finally lapsed into silence, Mary became aware of the night sounds around them, the light wind rustling the leaves, the crickets chirping, something howling in the distance – coyote? mountain lion? Marshall would know. She didn't care as long as it stayed in the distance. She concentrated on his slow and even breathing, drawing a surprising amount of comfort from that most basic proof of his vitality. She reluctantly roused herself and said softy, ''Thank you Marshall. Thank you for sharing this with me.''

They stood in comfortable silence, the brightness of the stars and the moon filling the sky. Marshall wrapped both arms around her and leaned down, speaking softly in her ear, " Mary." He drew the word out, her very name a caress. No one had ever injected so much affection into those two syllables before. "I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm so glad you came with me to see this."

Mary savored the warm, secure feeling of being in his arms. She really didn't want to move. She felt the slow rise and fall of Marshall's chest, and found her breathing was in sync with his. They watched the stars twinkling in the clear night sky. Her senses sharpened with the stillness of their bodies, the crispness of the air. Mary became aware of the rectangular shape of Marshall's belt buckle pressing into her back. She was aware, with her head resting against his shoulder, of just how much taller he was than herself. She was aware of the crisp cotton of his shirt, the feel of it under her head. She was aware of the faint scent of aftershave? Cologne? She never could distinguish between the two. But it was subtle, pleasant. She covered his clasped hands with her own, aware of his long, strong fingers, the warmth of them firmly holding her to him. So many things she had never noticed before. She closed her eyes again and sighed. The chill of the night finally forced her to move. She turned around slowly, facing him. His hold loosened, but he didn't let go. She looked up at him in the pale moonlight, trying to read his expression.

''Marshall, why did you bring me here?''


	2. Chapter 2 Right in Front of Me

Chapter 2 – Right in Front of Me

"Marshall, why did you bring me here?"

Marshall gazed down at her, a hint of a smile on his lips. He clasped his arms loosely around her. Mary returned his slow smile. She studied his face, looking fondly at every familiar feature. His intelligent blue eyes that could be so piercing, but were so warm when gazing at her, his high forehead, the sharp planes of his cheekbones, his full lips. He leaned back into a slight hollow in the cliff behind him, drawing her easily against him. He was looking at her with so much affection. An affection that carried no demands with it. Mary rested her head against Marshall's' chest, listening to his heartbeat, slow and steady. Reassuring. She slipped her arms under his jacket and wrapped them around his waist. His slender body was deceptive in its strength. A sudden memory of a time she had severely sprained her ankle, had thought it might be broken. Marshall had picked her up effortlessly and carried her to the car. And, as she had once been told, she was not exactly petite. She had protested the entire way, but in actuality, had enjoyed being carried by him. Enjoyed having an excuse to put her arms around his neck. Enjoyed for just a few minutes, allowing someone to take care of her. Much as she was enjoying this right now, arms wrapped around each other. He ran his hand lightly up and down her back, comforting, like she was a child, then bent down and placed a light kiss on the top of her head.

"I always try to make it out here for the full moon. It's almost spiritual, watching it. And this is where I come when I need to think. When I feel blue. When I'm happy. I love this spot. It's peaceful, quiet. It's like my own private chapel.'' Mary listened to the deep rumble in his chest as he talked, felt his arms securely around her and felt something she never had before...cherished. A small voice in the back of her head informed her she never felt like this in Raph's arms. She told the voice to shut up. This was safe, warm, peaceful...happy.

''It makes me feel happy here. I thought it might make you feel happy too. I really want you to be happy and I don't know that you are.'' His voice was husky.

Mary slowly raised her head and looked up at him. He was watching her intently. For one wild moment she thought he was going to kiss her. Her heartbeat sped up and she felt her face flush. She had to stifle a feeling of disappointment when he released his hold on her and pulled back.

''This has made me happy Marshall,'' she whispered, trying to sort through the confusion of feelings she was experiencing. She wanted him to hold her close again. She pushed the thought away. Marshall watched her a moment. He sighed and gingerly tucked her hair back behind her ear.

''I'm glad." He gazed out past her into the dark night sky. "We should head back,'' he said gently. He cupped her face, softly rubbing his thumb over her cheekbone. He had to feel the heat in her cheek, but said nothing. Mary nodded and stepped away.

''Thank you again Marshall. I mean it. This was special.'' She swallowed and looked up at him. "All of it," she said softly. Marshall grinned at her and brushed his lips against her cheek. She closed her eyes against the small jolt that went through her at his warm touch. He took out a small flashlight from his jacket and reached for Mary's hand.

''Careful, the trail can be dangerous in the dark.'' They started back down the path. Marshall kept a firm grasp on her, his long, lean fingers engulfing her smaller hand, intertwining with her fingers, making sure she didn't stumble. _Always looking out for me. Even when I don't want it._

When they got back down to their vehicles at the trail head, Marshall drew Mary to him in a fierce hug and whispered in her ear, '' I want to fix things between us. I don't want to feel uncomfortable anymore.''

''I know,'' Mary responded. ''I want that too.'' She hesitated, then took a deep breathe. ''Marshall, I know you have feelings for me. And I don't want to hurt you. But I'm engaged to another man. I shouldn't be out here with you, in your arms. It's not fair to Raph, it's not fair to me.''

Marshall pulled back slightly to be able to look at her face. He smoothed her hair back, caressing her face. "I know," he said, "you're right. It isn't fair. I'm in love with a woman who is pledged to another man." A small pause. "And I am in love with you Mary." He sighed. "I don't want to make life difficult for you. I just need you to know how I feel. I'll support you in any decision you make."

He watched her a moment, noting the changing emotions flash across her face, vacillating between releasing her from his hold or forcing the issue. She wasn't pulling away, surprising in itself. "Mary," he said, making his decision,"why _**are **_you still here, in my arms?" He tightened his grasp against her inevitable reaction. Mary tried to draw back, but Marshall held her close. He bent down and placed his mouth by her ear. "Why, Mary," he whispered, his warm breath sending a shiver down her back.

He placed a small kiss in the hollow between her shoulder and her neck, his lips warm and gentle. He felt her pulse speed up and smiled, trailing his lips slowly up her neck. Another kiss was placed just below her ear, lightly grazing her skin, then another on her jawline. He started working his way across her check, dropping small, warm kisses, while Mary tried to remember how to breathe. Her treacherous body was responding to him, aching to have his mouth on hers. When he finally reached her lips, Mary could have cried with relief. _Please Marshall. _He brushed his lips feather light across hers. _Yes, finally._ Mary's arms came up around his neck. Marshall's hands settled firmly on her hips. He brushed his lips over hers again. _More. _She didn't pull away. Smiling, he dipped his head.

His kiss was slow, non-threatening, tender. He raised his head, then lowered it again for another slow, soft kiss. With the third kiss, he gradually increased the pressure on her lips, silently asking for permission. She slid one hand to the back of his head and pulled him down, parting her lips, granting him entrance. Marshall groaned, feeling his rigid control start to slip. His hands moved up to cup her face as he deepened the kiss. He took his time, tasting her, tentatively sliding his tongue between those inviting lips, running over her teeth, waiting for her response before continuing. Marshall felt a small shudder of surprise run through him as Mary opened her mouth to him fully, her tongue meeting his. _I can't believe she is letting me kiss her like this. _A small flare of hope ignited inside him. Mary would never let anyone kiss her if she didn't want that kiss.

He slowly explored the inside of her mouth, the slick surfaces of her teeth, the smooth sides of her cheeks, the firmness of her tongue, each foray met by a willing response, while Mary's body went limp like Jello in his embrace. Every returned kiss was evaluated and he adjusted his next kiss based on her response, rapidly discovering what she liked and what would stoke the slowly building fire in her belly. She was having trouble holding on to a coherent thought. God, she had never felt like this from a kiss before. Marshall raised his head, studied Mary's face, her dilated eyes, the slight flush on her cheeks and dropped another very gentle kiss on her already kiss swollen lips.

"_**That**_," he whispered, "is how I feel." His voice trembled. "How do you feel?"

"My God, Marshall," Mary gasped out. "Where did you learn to kiss like that?" Somehow the thought of him kissing other women, and apparently with great skill, was unpleasant to her. He gave a low chuckle, and watched her face as he replied.

"I listen." A statement of fact, not bragging. "Most women will let you know what they want. What they like. Sometimes with words, sometimes in other ways. It's so easy, all you have to do is pay attention to the response you get. Most men don't listen because they are too caught up in what _**they**_ want." A gentle caress of her face. "Truly caring about someone means putting their pleasure above your own." He paused, " And you haven't answered my question."

Mary's head reeled from the thought of what kind of lover he would be if his kisses alone could do this to her. He would be gentle, considerate. Not something she normally looked for, but she had never realized what those qualities could mean. A blinding flash of clarity came to her. A half remembered conversation with Marshall discoursing on the difference between having sex and making love. He wouldn't have sex with her, he would make love to her. Something she had never distinguished between before. The fact that he loved her would change how he touched her, how he moved with her. The thought of that slow, thorough, infinitely gentle exploration of her mouth being applied to her whole body made her feel faint. He would be a smoldering ember that would ignite into flames, could ignite her into flames. She looked up at him, this man who had come to mean so very much to her, who understood her like no one else. He was a good, decent, honorable man and he loved her. He deserved the truth.

"Honestly," she said slowly, "I feel confused. I love Raph. I do. I'm just not entirely sure I can live with him." She peered at his face, partially hidden in shadow, felt the cool breeze rustle her hair. "But, I've always cared about you Marshall. More than you know. In many ways, we're better suited to each other, than Raph and I are. Jeez Marshall, I would gladly take a bullet for you." She paused, looked at him anxiously, "You know that don't you? I would take a bullet for you? Would rather it were me than you?" He nodded silently. "I've just never thought about you in a..."she hesitated, searching for the right word, "a romantic sense before." She smiled weakly. "I'm going to have to re-evaluate that."

Marshall gave her a small smile and trailed the back of his fingers down her face, then stepped away from her, dropping his hands to his sides. "Please Mary," he pleaded in a low voice, "just give me some consideration, give _**us**_ some consideration. I don't know that you would be really happy with Raph." He paused, then continued in a gentle voice, almost a whisper. "You do deserve to be happy Mary. You are worth it. I don't think you really believe that. But you are. _**You are**_. And I understand you, I _**know**_ you, I know you better than anyone else does, including Raph. Please, think about it." A lopsided grin, "Preferably before you walk down the aisle."

Mary stared up at him, and slowly nodded. He, more than anyone else she knew, had a right to that consideration from her. She felt her chest tighten as she looked at the face that was so very dear to her. She knew that given a choice between living without Raph and living without Marshall, she would make the decision without any thought at all. _So what does that say about me? Maybe I don't even need to think about this._


	3. Chapter 3 Small Concerns

Chapter 3 – Small Concerns

Mary was in a good mood as she walked into the office. She had felt like a giddy teenager since her outing several days ago with Marshall. She had been giving a great deal of thought to their relationship, as Marshall had requested. _And feeling my toes curl every time I think about his kisses. When was the last time that happened? _He had put a new perspective on her life and she was coming to acknowledge several things. One was the way her heart lifted each time she saw him. Her doofus partner, who woulda thunk it? She'd told him she didn't know if she could live with Raph. Could she live with Marshall? Could she do 24/7 of Marshall? She was definitely happier when she was around him. But would he come to grate on her nerves as Raph currently was? _Raph, what am I going to do about Raph? _The questions swirled around her mind unanswered.

Marshall had backed off since that night, giving her the space she needed. An approach Raph had never grasped. That she needed space. That she couldn't breathe with him smothering her in enforced togetherness. Marshall was far better at reading her than Raph. In fairness to Raph, he loved her and just wanted to be with her, but he simply could not understand, nor accept, her need to be an individual, to be by herself, to keep certain secrets. Marshall understood all this on a most basic level, he felt it. He was rarely wrong on his take on her mood or how to handle her.

She remembered when he drove her home after her kidnapping. He had walked with her to her door and saw her safely inside, but he didn't touch her. He had started to raise his hand to her face, but visibly checked himself, letting his hand fall back to his side. He fairly vibrated with the need to touch her, to reassure himself she was really alive, but he restrained himself, because he knew she didn't want it, not then, not at that moment. She needed to fall apart by herself. Without him. Raph would never have understood that.

Mary had been caught staring at him several times the last few days. He would look up to see her speculative gaze on him. He cocked his head to one side, returned her frank look, and allowed a slow, lazy smile to cross his face. There was a heat behind the smile that was barely masked. _Oh Marshall, keep looking at me like that and I am going to be a puddle of goo at your feet._

Reluctantly bringing her thoughts back from becoming that puddle of goo, she noticed Marshall in the conference room, and her heart gave a pleasant little twinge, then she saw he was with a new witness. She glanced in and grimaced. _Oh no,_ she thought, _not_ _another kid_. After pouring herself a cup of coffee, she joined them in the conference room. The witness was sitting huddled into herself, swimming in Marshall's suit coat draped over her shoulders, looking almost catatonic. Mary studied her and realized in surprise, that she wasn't a child, but was in fact an extremely small woman. Tousled dark brown hair, huge brown eyes, a look about her that Mary recognized as the completely overwhelmed, ready to shut down and retreat from reality look. She glanced over at Marshall in concern.

Marshall met her gaze and gave a small shake of his head. Not good, Mary interpreted. "Mary, this is Eloise. Eloise, my partner Mary" Eloise stared vacantly at Mary with those large brown eyes, and finally gave a small nod. _Good Lord, shes tiny. She can't be more than five foot. I'll bet not more than 90 pounds_. Mary re-evaluated again. Eloise was probably closer to forty than thirty. Mary guessed she was one of those women that normally looked younger than her age. Today wasn't normal. She was clinging on to Marshall's arm like it was a lifeline.

"Mary, would you ask Stan to come in?" Mary nodded and stepped out, waving Stan out of his office. He entered the conference room and Marshall patiently pried loose Eloise's clinging fingers.

"Eloise, I'm going to step out for a minute, but Stan will stay here with you.' Eloise turned panic stricken eyes on Marshall and tried to grasp his arm again. "It's OK," he soothed, " I'll be back in a few minutes. You are perfectly safe here." He gently touched her face. She dropped her hands back in her lap and her eyes went vacant again.

Marshall stood up and putting his hand on the small of Mary's back, steered her out of the conference room and over to her desk. One small part of her mind was ridiculously pleased that Marshall was touching her again, that the awkwardness between them had dissipated over the last week. She brought her mind back to their witness.

"Good God Marshall, what happened to her? And how long have you been with her?" Marshall looked at her with grim eyes.

"Eloise there, had the sad misfortune of witnessing two drug dealers have their heads blown off by a third drug dealer. The familiar story of wrong place at the wrong time. I've been with her since last evening."

"Why didn't you call me? I would have come in." Mary was becoming deeply concerned. "Has she been checked out by a doctor? She looks like she's about one step above the walking dead."

"Not yet. We had to secure her first. I was supposed to pick up my drug informant witness. Straight forward. In and out. But Eloise got herself caught up in the whole mess, so we got two witnesses for the price of one." He flicked his gaze down and then over briefly to the conference room.

"And we have an additional problem. She is barely responsive. She's just shut down. I've never seen anyone this disconnected. I'm not sure she even is cognizant of the fact we are with Witness Protection. She is in no shape to understand and sign the MOU. Until she does that, she is not officially in the program and on the Marshall Service dime. I want her evaluated before going over the MOU with her. I'm not sure where she's going to stay until we get this sorted." Marshall glanced away.

"Marshall, you are **not **thinking of taking her to your place." It was a statement, not a question. "You simply can't. She is as pathetic as they come, I'll give you that." Her voice softened. " And you have a big heart." She placed her hand lightly on his arm. " But you can't." His eyes met hers and he sighed. "I know. I'll spring for an hotel room. Hopefully it will only be for one night." He covered her hand with his. Marshall nodded towards the conference room.

"Stan, I'm going to take Eloise to the hospital and have her checked over. I'll get an hotel room for her tonight and we can deal with the paperwork tomorrow." Stan nodded and pulled Marshall aside before going back to his office.

"You better stay with her tonight Marshall. She's in bad shape and someone needs to be there when she crashes."

****

Marshall got Eloise a room at one of the nicer mid-range hotels. Mary came with them and after securing the room, turned to see Eloise standing forlornly in the doorway, dwarfed by Marshall's lanky frame towering over her, a protective hand on her shoulder. He ushered her in and Mary noticed for the first time the blood and grime on her dark clothes. "For heaven's sake Marshall, you didn't let her get cleaned up?"

Marshall shook his head. "No time." He turned to study Eloise. She had been moved out of Nashville in a hurry, literally swept off her feet by Marshall, as he caught her in a faint. They had headed straight out of town and she had brought nothing with her. "Mary, can you get her some clothes and toiletries?" He looked at her critically again, running his eyes slowly up and down her slender frame. Eloise had enough presence of mind to flush and turn away.

"Size 2 pants petite, extra-small tops, size 34B bra, size 5 underwear, size 6 shoes." Both Mary and Eloise turned to stare at him, Eloise blushing faint pink.

Mary looked at Eloise who gave her a small confirming nod. "Care to explain how you knew that Purvis?"

Marshall grinned. "Three sisters. Plus, I really like women. So I pay attention. _I listen." _That last very softly. Mary felt a faint blush sweeping her cheeks as she recalled that make out session, that was so much more than making out, from the other night. "You, not having any girlfriends, probably have no idea of how often women talk about clothes and clothing sizes. All one has to do is listen and observe." Marshall let his gaze run lightly over Mary's body. She felt her cheeks grow warm. _Blushing? Are you kidding me? I've been getting checked out since I was 14 years old. It's never phased me before. Is it because it's Marshall? He's never done it before. _She looked at him sharply. _Or has he? _He dropped his voice and slightly leered at her. "Would you like me to tell you your sizes?"

"You do and I'll hurt you." Mary glared at him , then paused. "Three sisters? Really? How'd you ever get a turn in the bathroom?" Marshall chuckled and turned back to Eloise.

"Why don't you have a shower and get cleaned up Eloise? Mary will get you some clothes to wear." Eloise slowly turned towards the bathroom and Marshall put a gentle hand on her shoulder, cupped her cheek. "It's going to be OK. I promise." She looked at him sadly and shut the door.

"What did the doctor say?" Mary asked in concern. Marshall turned to look at her and shrugged.

"She's ok physically. She's in shock emotionally. I'm very worried about her being all alone, no family, no support system."

Mary looked thoughtful, gazing at the closed bathroom door. "I don't know Marshall. She may surprise us. Sometimes it's the waifs that are the strongest when it counts." She waved with the back of her hand and went out the door.

When Mary returned, arms full of shopping bags and take out dinner, she knocked lightly on the door and swiped her card through the reader, before pushing the door open with her hip. She stopped in surprise at the sight of Eloise curled up sleeping against Marshall. He was sitting up against the headboard, his arm protectively around her slender, bathrobe clad body. Mary walked in and shut the door, feeling a twinge of something unpleasant. Marshall looked steadily at her.

Mary dropped her packages, moved to the other bed and sat down. She took in Eloise's tear streaked face and trembling body. "She crash?" she asked softly.

Marshall nodded and grimaced. "There's more," he said, stroking her hair. "Eloise has been holding out on us. She's pregnant."

Mary stared at him. "Great." A pause. "This didn't come out at the doctor today?"

Marshall shook his head. "She didn't actually say anything, just nodded or shook her head in answer to questions. And that wasn't one of the questions."

Mary frowned. "The father?"

Marshall sighed. "Fiancé. She found out yesterday. Father doesn't know. She told me when she crashed. She had asked earlier about Jacob, and I thought he was just a boyfriend. I wasn't too positive in my response regarding him. She's had some time to think now, and she won't do this without him. Stan is trying to see if we can bring him into the program." He tightened his arm around her. "Poor thing had a hell of a day." He looked at Mary, distress in his eyes. "She just sobbed and sobbed. I couldn't take it away, Mary, any of that pain."

"Marshall," Mary spoke very softly. Sky blue eyes came up to look at forest green ones full of compassion. "You need to be very careful. This woman is extremely emotionally needy. Not without good reason. But you can't get too close to her." He saw the concern in her expression.

"Mary, I can't hold her at a distance. She'll fall apart. She needs me. It's my duty to protect her and that includes protecting her emotional well being. If she needs the comfort of having me close to her, I'm going to give that to her." He glanced down at her fondly. "Having said that, I think you better stay tonight. Avoid any hint of impropriety."

Mary smirked. "As if you could ever be improper." She considered a moment, then agreed. "OK," she said, " I'll get my bag from the car."

She pulled her overnight bag from the trunk and leaned against the door, cradling her head. The sounds of traffic flowed around her and she became aware of the scent of lavender Must be some plants in the flower beds around the hotel entrance. _Lavender. Supposed to be calming isn't it? I could use that. I could use my own personal plant. _She was fighting against the unreasonable emotions swirling through her. She felt jealous of that little slip of a girl. Eloise was getting to sleep in Marshall's arms, was on the receiving end of Marshall's tender looks. _You are losing it. Eloise is not after Marshall. She is traumatized. And Marshall is freaking uncanny at knowing what witnesses need emotionally. He is giving her what she needs. And he is willing to give you what you need if you would only accept it. And how the hell is it you didn't know Marshall had three sisters?_

Mary trudged back to the room pondering what else she may not know about Marshall and opened the door to find Eloise changed into the pajamas Mary had brought for her and eating the dinner that had been left on the table. Marshall was still sitting on the bed, talking to someone on the phone. Eloise gave Mary a little wave and continued with her supper. Marshall finished his call and looked over at Mary. "We take Eloise in the morning to confirm the pregnancy. She has only done the pee on a stick test so far. Then we go over the MOU and get her set up with somewhere to live."

"OK." She glanced over at Eloise. "She alright?" Marshall gave a small shake of his head.

Mary compressed her lips and grabbed the remote, turning on the TV and finding one of those mindless shows full of boring facts that Marshall was so fond of watching. She turned the volume down and then gathered her bag to go get changed. Emerging a short time later from the bathroom in a tank top and drawstring sleep pants, she felt a small sense of triumph, as she felt Marshall's eyes on her, following her as she moved to the other bed and turned the covers down. Looking over at him, she saw a glimpse of heat in his eyes, quickly suppressed. She smiled and picked up her book, preparing to read for awhile.

Eloise had finished eating and after brushing her teeth, she stood watching the TV a moment, then silently walked over to Marshall, crawled under the covers , curled up on the bed next to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. Marshall wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her in close to him and Mary felt that small flare of jealousy again. She resolutely turned her eyes back to her book.

***

A/N: Many thanks for the kind words for my story so far. They are much appreciated.


	4. Chapter 4 Observations and Empathy

Chapter 4 – Observations and Empathy

Eloise woke with a start. She lay trembling in the dark, trying to place where she was. She felt the strong, comforting warmth of Jacob next to her and realized it was his mumbling that had woken her. She sleepily started rubbing her hand across his stomach, trying to calm him, tracing slow, widening circles on his abdomen. He reached down and covered her hand with his own, stilling her movement and drawing her hand up against his chest. Eloise came more fully awake and then aware that it wasn't Jacob next to her, but the marshal assigned to protect her. _Oh, God, what is he going to think of me? _She was still feeling a bit fuzzy. She knew he had put something in her drink to help her sleep. She had come to trust this man so completely in just a few hours, that she drank it without protest, knowing he would not give her anything that might hurt the baby. She lay very still, listening to his breathing and then cringed away from him. _Of course he's awake. Well. I am just going to have to be embarrassed about this in the morning. _Unwanted_, s_he felt a sob rising up in her chest. It was all just too much. She wanted Jacob. Marshall was laying on top of the covers, but his arm curved around her and he pulled her into his side. He managed to curl his long limbs around her and rested his chin on her head as she shook with silent sobs in his arms.

When next she woke, she could see the pearly gray light of very early morning. Marshall was mumbling again, mostly incoherently, but Eloise caught a few things, He appeared to be agitated and was pulling her closer. She lay in bed, listening to him mumble and her bladder talking to her and finally slipped out from under Marshall's embrace and went into the bathroom. When she came out he was up and looked at her keenly, trying to assess her mental well being. Eloise smiled wanly and sat down on the bed.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, vaguely lifting her arm toward him. Marshall knew what she was referring to, as she had known he would. He squatted down in from of her and took her hands.

"It's ok. You thought I was someone else." He grinned lopsidedly. "I just had to put a stop to that wandering hand before things got _improper._" Eloise blushed. Marshall was instantly contrite and cupped her cheek, holding her gaze.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I know you must have thought I was your fiancé." He glanced over at a still sleeping Mary. He swallowed hard as he took in her tousled hair and the curves exposed by the flung back covers. His gaze lingered on her lips, his mind replaying those kisses from the trail head. How she had opened her mouth to him, how she had responded to him, how her body felt in his arms. Marshall was a patient man and he was willing to wait for her, but he desperately wanted Mary to open her heart to him. He looked away as he felt his body begin to tighten up. Eloise followed his line of vision and when he brought his eyes back to hers, he saw an expression of sympathy in them. Marshall glanced away sharply, mentally kicking himself. He had just exposed himself to a witness and he had no doubt that this terrified woman knew from that one look, exactly how he felt about his partner.

"I'm going out to get some coffee. Mary's a bear until she has that first cup." He glanced back over at his sleeping friend again. "Trust me on this one."

"I take mine black, one sugar," Eloise said. Marshall squeezed her hands and stood up. Eloise watched him as he quietly moved around the room gathering his badge, gun, wallet, phone. He had literally kept her from going insane those first few hours. Marshall's calm presence had been the fragile thread holding her to reality. She drew strength against his calmness with every gasping breath she took. He had assessed her mental state within thirty seconds of meeting her, had wrapped an arm around her and kept physical contact until he got her to Albuquerque. Eloise had clung to him like her life depended on it. She had looked at his kind face, seen how he took charge of the situation and completely turned over everything to him, followed him blindly and totally trusted that he would protect her. She would never have been able to shut her eyes without seeing that dreadful scene again, if it hadn't been for Marshall's reassuring lean form next to her, his arms around her to keep her from flying into a million shattered pieces.

Mary woke when she heard the door close. She sat up and looked around quickly, relaxing when she saw Eloise sitting on the other bed.

"Marshall went for coffee. He says you are nicer to be around after coffee." Eloise had a soft melodious voice and Mary realized this was the first time she had heard her speak. Eloise watched her, easily transferring her trust to Mary, because she saw how completely Marshall trusted her.

"Coffee? Good." Mary turned so she was facing Eloise. She had slept lousy, over-aware of Marshall's presence in the other bed. Stifling a yawn, she asked, "How are you feeling this morning? Did you get any sleep last night?" She peered at her, pushing down the twinge of jealousy she felt. _This is irrational, she has a fiancé. Of course, so do I. _

Eloise nodded. "Marshall put something in my drink, so I did get some sleep." She was silent a minute. "He's rather nice to sleep against. Some men just lie there like an oblivious lump, but Marshall shifted, responded every time I moved, so I was always comfortable." She smiled. "He has nice long limbs, he made me feel protected, curled around me, so no one could hurt me."

Mary saw a flash of mischief in her eyes. "Is that part of the normal protection detail? Sleeping with the witnesses?" Eloise hesitated again, glanced cautiously at Mary, who was still trying to make her befuddled brain formulate a response. Images of Marshall's long limbs curled around her, his long fingers doing...things...were rendering her speechless.

"You know, he talks in his sleep." Mary stared at her, a confusion of emotions swirling through her head. "Well, mumbles would be more accurate. But I did hear him say your name. More than once. Each time he tightened his arms around me. Not that I'm complaining, but I think," Eloise said slowly, " he was worried about you in his sleep. He seemed agitated. I think he was trying to protect you." She looked at Mary again, her stunned expression. "I think he really cares about you."

"He's my partner. We protect each other," That sounded lame, even in Mary's own ears. She looked at that steady gaze directed at her and felt compelled to say more. Her mind was whirling from this new information. _He's rather nice to sleep against? Yes, I imagine he is, all lean muscle and gentle hands, no superfluous fat on that one. What would it feel like to have those long limbs curled around me? Holding me close? That would be very nice indeed. _Marshall dreamed about her? Or was so worried for her safety it followed him into his sleep? And did his unconscious mind think the woman in his arms was her instead of Eloise? Or was that wishful dreaming? "It's complicated," she finally offered.

Eloise gave her sad smile again. "It always is." she said forlornly. "Do you think I could talk to Jacob today? He'll be worried about me. Probably called the police by now." Mary could hear the longing in her voice. She felt of flash of guilt. She hadn't given any thought to the feelings Eloise must be experiencing right now, all alone, separated from her fiance, pregnant. And frightened out of her mind.

"We'll see what we can do. I promise. "

*****

They were both dressed and ready to go when Marshall returned with the coffee. Marshall had been spot on with Eloise's sizes, and she looked rather nice, Mary thought. Mary eagerly took the coffee from Marshall and watched obliquely as Marshall handed a cup to Eloise, then sat down next to her, lowered his head and spoke to her in a low voice. Eloise nodded, then looked up and flashed a genuine smile that lit up her whole face. Marshall was grinning like an idiot and Mary put her hands in her back pockets and stared at him until he looked at her and got up and walked over to her. He leaned down and spoke in her ear, his warm breath sending a frisson of awareness down her spine. "Spoke to Stan, we're bringing Jacob into the program." He glanced back at Eloise, happily sipping her coffee. "It was private news she needed to hear for herself first."

"How do you know these things?" Mary was genuinely puzzled and curious.

Marshall shrugged. "Study of human nature. Empathy. I just know. It's why I'm so good at my job." He turned those startling blue eyes on her. "I know what people need. And not just witnesses." Mary flushed under his intense gaze.

"What about what you need?" she whispered, looking directly at the third button on his shirt. He leaned in again, his breath warm against her cheek, his lips sketching the ghost of a kiss against her smooth skin.

"I've told you what I need. And now I'm waiting. I'm waiting for my _**need **_to make up her mind."

Mary's eyes flew up to meet his. She saw raw hunger there and her heart skipped a beat. Marshall dropped his gaze and took a deep breath. They both turned to see Eloise watching them with a half smile playing about her lips. It was very disconcerting. Mary felt Eloise somehow had a direct line of sight into her soul. She picked up their bags and headed out to the car, escaping that direct gaze and leaving Marshall to bring Eloise.

"You ready?" Marshall asked. Eloise placed her hand gently on his arm and tilted her head back to look up at him.

"I think she's very confused," she said softly. "I think she really cares about you and it scares her. And I'm pretty sure she didn't like you sleeping with your arms around me last night."

Marshall looked at her and then glanced down. "You are very observant," he said quietly. "She's struggling with her feelings. I _**know**_ what mine are. And there is another complicating factor. A factor Mary has to deal with.".

He scrubbed his hand across his face. He'd had the nightmare again last night. The one he had when Mary weighed heavy on his mind. The one where he couldn't protect her in that dank basement. But this time the dream had ended with her safe in his arms. He had pulled her in close, murmuring her name. Disappointment had been sharp when he had woken enough to realize that while there was a live woman in his arms, it wasn't Mary.

Eloise watched the play of emotions cross Marshall's face and slipped her small hand into his and gave it a squeeze. "Don't give up Marshall. You can trust me on this one."


	5. Chapter 5 Eloise in Albuquerque

Chapter 5 – Eloise in Albuquerque

Eloise sat in the conference room, watching her two marshals, their heads bent together, having a low voiced conversation. She was quickly coming to enjoy her study of these two. Her job as a counselor gave her ample opportunity to study people, study their reactions, study the way they would say one thing, while feeling another. Her empathic abilities gave her a unique insight into the true feelings and motivations of her clients. She wondered who would take care of her caseload, how her disappearance would be explained.

Both marshals fairly radiated with emotions kept tightly controlled. Marshall was the embodiment of calm on the surface, but underneath he had very deep and very strong feelings for Mary. Mary was all bluster on top, but deep down...she was terrified. Confusion over her feelings for Marshall was tying her in knots. The affection she felt for him was clear, but she was scared of the potential for hurt that would come with stronger feelings.

Eloise dropped her observation of the two sitting across from her and turned her thoughts inwards, a place she had been avoiding. Concentrating on Marshall and Mary allowed her to not think about herself. The last two days had completely turned her world upside down. _And all because of a stupid turn down the wrong corridor. _Eloise had entered a warehouse in the industrial park, looking for a fabric wholesaler _(hell of a lot of trouble for wanting my couch reupholstered) _and turning left instead of right where the corridor split, opened a door to find herself witness to a horrifying tableau. Two men with their hands tied behind their backs, shoved up against the wall. A third man with a gun pointed at them. Two other men standing around looking menacing. She had stood rooted to the spot, frightened into immobility, the emotions of everyone in the room swirling around her, threatening to overwhelm her. After a few seconds of stunned silence, she found herself roughly grabbed and pulled into the room, the door slammed shut behind her. A split second later, two gunshots, then two bodies slumped to the ground. Another man entered from a door in the rear, and a heated argument ensued regarding what to do with her. Eloise stood silently, realizing she was likely to die in the next few minutes. And then, incredibly, a commotion from outside burst inside from the same rear door and a variety of law enforcement entered the room. She saw Nashville police uniforms, DEA jackets, US Marshall jackets.

Eloise took it all in, the guns waving everywhere, the blur of running men, the shouting, the level of emotion. She was starting to withdraw, unable to process all the emotions, the rush of adrenaline from every single person in that room. She saw a very tall, slender man looking at her strangely, trying to fit her into the equation. _One of these things is not like the others. _As she felt her brain start to shut down and her legs start to give way, he was suddenly beside her, catching her slight figure up in his arms. He turned with her and after a brief word with one of the other men, carried Eloise out of the warehouse and to a waiting police car. Eloise grabbed the front of his shirt as he bent over to set her down on the back seat and looked into his eyes, her breath coming in panicked gasps. Blue, blue eyes looked back and latched onto chocolate brown ones. He smiled and laid his hand on her head.

"You're safe now. I won't let anything happen to you." He had a surprisingly deep voice. And he was calm. Eloise latched onto that calmness. The gentle gesture of placing his large hand on her head, like she was a child, was a lifeline. Direct physical contact made it easier for her to feel others emotions and right now he was projecting such controlled calmness. She clung to that stability, drank it in, closed out everyone but the lovely man acting as her shield. Her world was shattering and he was like a net, holding all the pieces together. The tall man stood up and turned to speak to another man, Eloise didn't let go of his shirt.

"Please don't leave me," it was a whisper. The tall man turned back to her. He crouched down beside her and gently disentangled his shirt from her grasp, clasping her hand flat against his chest. "I won't leave you. I am going to stay right here with you." Eloise could feel the steady rhythm of his heartbeat under her palm. She concentrated on that rhythm, gradually expanded the narrow focus of her attention to his breathing, nice and even. She consciously brought her breathing to match his, to try and stop the crazy racing of her heart, the painful hitching of her breath.

The other man spoke now. "One of them's in the wind. We're in pursuit." The tall man looked up with eyes turned steely. "Which one? Did he see..." he nodded towards Eloise. The other man nodded grimly.

The tall man turned back to Eloise, his eyes softening as he gazed at her. "I'm Marshal Marshall Mann of the U.S. Marshal Service. And I'm going to take care of you." He squeezed her hand. "I promise." And Eloise turned her life over to him.

******

As Eloise learned later, the man she had seen enter the room from the rear door was an informant, someone on the inside of the drug gang. Marshall had been sent to Nashville to take that man into protective custody after the anticipated bust of the drug ring. What hadn't been anticipated were the two brutal killings and the appearance of Eloise. Another marshal was quickly assigned to Marshal's original witness, given the obvious emotional distress of Eloise and the bond she had already forged with Marshall.

Eloise had been whisked away so quickly, it made her head spin. She was in almost physical pain from all the emotions and withdrew so deeply, she barely heard Marshall as he explained about witness protection and the danger she was in from the drug ring. Her purse had been taken from her when she was pulled into the room, and the man who escaped had her ID, knew her name, where she lived. She wasn't even allowed to return home for her clothes. She was in Albuquerque before she could rouse herself enough to even ask about Jacob. She was given a non-committal answer that scared her when she allowed herself to think about it. Like Scarlett O'Hara, she would think about it tomorrow. Whatever this relocation was about, she wasn't doing it without Jacob.

She returned her attention to the two marshals. So much yearning for each other and only one of them able to admit it. Mary was the more complex of the two, so much hurt and pain hidden under layers of self defensive prickliness. Afraid to let herself love anyone, because what if they left her? Marshall sitting quietly on the sidelines, loving her from afar. It was sad. Well. Eloise decided she would do what she always did with her clients. Offer little glimpses and soft nudges to try and open stubbornly shut eyes. She was beginning to feel as protective of her marshals as they were of her.

Marshall looked over at her, caught her gaze and smiled. He really was rather lovely. Mary was a fool if she couldn't see that. Except Mary was no fool. She was scared. The woman who would fearlessly face down anyone who tried to harm a witness was afraid to face her own feelings. _I may need to employ humping big shoves instead of soft nudges with this one. _

Marshall's fondness showed in his smile. He had felt himself drawn to this unique woman from the moment he saw her wide-eyed face in that Nashville warehouse. He couldn't fathom what she was doing there, but had recognized her impending faint and managed to get to her side before she slid to the floor. Swinging her light figure up in his arms, he had felt a rush of protectiveness that was unusual, even in his line of work. Maybe it was because she was so tiny. Maybe it was because she had trusted him from the moment he picked her up in his embrace. Waiting for her to try and steady her ragged breathing, he had found himself falling into the chocolate pools of her eyes, his heart constricting as he almost physically felt the emotional connection she was creating, felt her drawing strength from him. Offered up that strength to her. There was something very unusual about her. He had thrown an arm around her, felt her slender shoulders sag against him.

The trip from Nashville to Albuquerque was largely silent. Marshall had been able to get her name out of her, but little else. She was withdrawn, trembling in the circle of his arm, her head resting on his shoulder. He had watched her sleeping, strangely moved by the level of trust she showed in him.

Watching her face today as she received confirmation of her pregnancy, he felt a surge of happiness for her. She was glowing with the news and excitedly looking forward to Jacob's arrival. Marshall experienced a small tug at his heart; he really wanted to be a dad. To have a family of his own. To have someone to love. To create a child with...he glanced covertly over at Mary. Would she want kids? It was something they had never talked about. For all her beliefs that she wasn't good with children, she actually kept a good rapport with them. Because she treated them as people in their own right, was straightforward with them, never talked down to them.

Marshall startled out of his reverie, aware Eloise had spoken to him. "I'm sorry," he said, "what was that?"

"Would you please ask Jacob to bring my engagement ring?" she repeated. "It was being sized at the jewelers and he was supposed to pick it up the day...the other day." She looked down at her bare hands. "It's the only material thing I really want from ...before."

An engagement ring. A powerful symbol. Visible proof to the world that a pledge had been offered and accepted. A signal to other men that this woman is spoken for, she has committed herself. A promise to love. His eyes slid unwillingly to the ring on Mary's finger. But not as permanent as the ring that came after, the plain band that was a legal as well as a moral commitment. This pledge could still be broken, with few consequences. Would she break that pledge? For him?

Mary kicked him under the table and he realized he was staring at her hand and hadn't answered Eloise. "Ow." He threw her a look. He returned his attention to Eloise. "Yes, I will relay that message." He pulled out his phone and bent over to rub his shin as he waited for the call to connect to the Nashville office.


	6. Chapter 6 New Beginnings

Chapter 6 -New Beginnings

Mary sat next to Raph on the couch. They were several hours into this, although nothing had been said for the last ten minutes. They were just sitting, holding hands, trying to come to terms with the new change in their relationship. A gamut of emotions had been on display. Raph had quickly progressed from disbelief, to confusion, anger, then hurt. He was actually taking it rather well, all things considered. Shouting had been kept to a minimum. Mary had shown more sensitivity than was her wont. Raph had eventually agreed that marriage wasn't right for them. They were not in the same place. They were arguing far too much. Mary had honestly told Raph she didn't think they would be happy together. She couldn't be the kind of wife to him that he needed. His concerns over her job would always be a source of conflict between them.

Raph had been silent for a time, considering and weighing her words. Finally he had nodded. He looked at her keenly. " I do love you, difficult as you are. And all these things you said are true. But I think we both know you have feelings elsewhere. And I think it has been eating at you for awhile." It wasn't accusatory, but a simple statement of fact.

Mary eyes went wide. "Raph, I love you. That isn't a subject for debate. I just can't marry you." Her eyes slid away from his. She stifled the urge to deny his statement. "I'm not sure what I feel for Marshall, but it's something. I need to work it out." She hesitated, then asked reluctantly, "How long have you known that I had .....feelings?"

He paused, but they had agreed on honesty. "Mary, everyone knows you are very close to him, you trust him. And I've seen how he looks at you. I've known for months that he loves you. But I also have heard you say his name in your sleep." Mary looked at him aghast, a blush creeping up her neck. He put a finger on her lips as she started to say something. "And it's not work related dreaming you are having. You ask him to please not leave you. You beg him to stay." She buried her head in her hands. "Mary, I think these are things you would like to be able to say to him in person."

She looked up at him sideways and frowned. "When have you ever seen Marshall looking at me?" she asked, sidestepping his other observation.

Raph focused on a point somewhere beyond her left ear. "I came home one day and the two of you were out by the pool. You were talking on the phone and pacing. You know how you are when you start to pace. You wave your arms, you are so intense, so vibrant, so beautiful. I started to go out to join you, but then I saw Marshall's face. You had your back to him and were totally concentrating on your call. His face was completely open. He was looking at you with so much desire. I went back inside. And started paying much more attention to Marshall after that. Once I knew it was there, it was easy to see how much he cares about you. But you had picked me, so I didn't worry...," his voice trailed off.

"Raph,"she whispered, "this isn't about Marshall. The problems we have between us are not due to Marshall."

Raph smiled sadly and leaned over to kiss her gently. "Cara mia, I know."

Mary slowly drew her engagement ring off her finger and put it in Raph's hand, closing his fingers over it. He was a dear, sweet man who only wanted to love her. But he couldn't understand her. And she couldn't love him the way he needed her to. She felt an ache building up in her chest.

"Thank you Raph, thank you for the honor of asking me. I'm sorry I couldn't fulfill my pledge to you. I do love you. I just...I can't." Mary felt hot tears prick her eyes behind her eyes. "I'm sorry," her voice hitched, "I'm sorry I'm hurting you. You deserve better."

Raph looked down at the ring in his hand, slowly turning it over in his fingers. Bringing his gaze back up to Mary's face, he reached over and touched her cheek.

"Mary, you deserve to be happy too. You are worth it."

Mary stared at him, then shook her head. "That is exactly what Marshall said to me."

Raph glanced away. "Well. He's a pretty smart guy. You should listen to him." He kissed her cheek. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, ok?" Mary nodded and watched Raph walk out the door.

****

She spent the next two hours sitting and thinking. She felt sad, guilty and immensely relieved. After she allowed herself a good cry, she felt as if a weight had lifted, she could breath again. Glancing at her watch, she stood up and grabbed her jacket and keys. It was getting late and she needed to meet Marshall at the hotel room. This would be the last night they would spend with Eloise. Tomorrow she was getting her own apartment and Jacob was scheduled to arrive in the morning.

Mary pulled into the parking lot and headed up to the room. She thought about the last several nights she and Marshall had spent with Eloise. Mary had been surprised to find she was enjoying her company. Once Eloise had gotten over her initial shock and fear and moved out of zombie land, she was a delight to be around. Marshall was completely charmed by her. She listened to his non-stop drivel with infinite patience, occasionally contributing some article of arcane knowledge with which Marshall was unfamiliar. Mary had regarded these exchanges sourly at first, until she had caught Eloise surreptitiously rolling her eyes as Marshall turned his back after one of his more absurd observations. Eloise looked guiltily at Mary and then breaking into a grin, nodded her head towards Marshall and winked at her.

Mary swiped her card key and pushed the door open. She walked in and found Eloise asleep, curled up next to Marshall. He was laying down beside her, one arm protectively around her slender shoulders, and watching some History Channel program. He looked up as she walked in and smiled at her, a slow, lazy smile that made Mary's insides turn to mush. "Hey," he said softly, "I was getting worried." His gaze sharpened as he looked at her face. "Are you ok?"

Mary heard the small note of concern in his voice. She walked over and fondly ruffled his hair, letting her hand rest a moment on his head. "I'll tell you about it later, ok?"

Marshall studied her and nodded, then smiled again. "I'm glad you're here."

Mary sat down on the other bed and took in the scene in front of her. "**You**,"she emphasized the word, "are getting used to not sleeping alone. What are you going to do when Jacob kicks your ass out of his spot next to her?"

Marshall grinned and looked fondly down at Eloise. He brought his eyes back up to meet Mary's and slowly raked his gaze up and down her body, letting his eyes linger deliberately on her curves. She felt something stirring in her nether regions.

"Well...I might just have to find a replacement," he drawled, "I'll probably get lonely without Eloise." He watched with delight as a faint blush came up on Mary's cheeks.

"In your dreams doofus," Mary tossed out at him, standing up and turning to grab her bag.

"You_** are**_ in my dreams," he said softly. Mary looked back over her shoulder at him and felt quicksilver shimmer through her stomach at the look in his eyes, darkened to the color of deep twilight. She felt again that small surge of triumph. He wanted her. But more than that, he loved her. She smiled warmly back at him, her eyes sparkling.

******

When Mary woke the next morning, she was alone in the room. She came instantly awake, and quickly got out of bed, then saw the light on in the bathroom. Eloise. Looking around she saw the note from Marshall, GONE FOR COFFEE. She smiled and tapped lightly on the bathroom door. It wasn't latched and she cautiously pushed it open. Eloise was standing in front of the mirror, her pajama top pulled up, her hand on her belly, a look of wonder on her face. She turned towards Mary and smiled.

"I can't believe I have another person growing inside of me." Her voice was a whisper. "That Jacob and I did this." She rubbed her abdomen gently. "That he is in here, in our child. This is the closest it is possible for two people to be." Her voice was filled with awe. "And he doesn't even know yet," she said wistfully. "I'm farther along than I thought, eight weeks the doctor said."

Eloise looked at Mary, taking in the expression on her face. "You ever think about having kids?" she asked curiously.

Mary slowly shook her head. "No, not really." _What would it be like? To have a baby growing inside me? To let someone get that close to me, to trust someone that much, to be that open to someone? _The thought came to her unbidden. _Marshall would be thrilled. _She hesitated. "I don't think I'd be a very good mom."

Eloise turned her direct gaze on her, tilted her head to one side and studied her. She had been observing Mary and Marshall the last few days, their slightly prickly banter, the obvious affection between them. Mary grew uncomfortable and Eloise reached out and laid a gentle hand on her arm. "Give yourself more credit Mary. I think you would be an amazing mom." She was quiet a moment, then said, "You're thinking about what I said aren't you, about pregnancy being the closest you can be to someone? And applying it to Marshall."

Mary's alarmed eyes flew up to meet Eloise's. "How do you know these things?" she asked, perplexed.

Eloise regarded her a moment. "I'm empathic. Do you know what that is?" Mary searched her memory. Marshall would know. He'd said something about empathy the other night, but wasn't that just being sensitive to other people's feelings? She shook her head.

"I can read people's emotions. Not just read them, I feel them." At the look of horror that appeared on Mary's face, she hurriedly continued, "I can't read minds, just the emotions. But emotions tell one a great deal about what a person is thinking. It's why I was so out of it when you and Marshall first met me. The emotions of the two men who were killed, who knew they were going to be killed and the emotions of the men who did the killing, who enjoyed killing, were too overwhelming. I had to shut down or risk losing myself. It was too painful."

She continued more slowly, picking her words carefully. "I know how you feel about Marshall, how very important he is to you, how very confused you are, how very scared you are. And something has changed just very recently. You are feeling happy, relieved and sad all at the same time. I think the something is the factor Marshall said you had to deal with. And I think the factor is another man. A very important man to you." Eloise paused, considering, then continued, "You were wearing an engagement ring yesterday, you're not now."

Mary looked automatically at her ring finger. It seemed strangely empty now. "I broke off my engagement yesterday," she said in a neutral voice.

"Because of Marshall?" Eloise asked. Mary shook her head.

"No. Well, he was a factor I suppose. Mostly because we couldn't make each other happy. Marshall has more understanding in his little finger of what makes me tick than my fiancé had in his whole being. Not from lack of trying. It's just the way it is." She was silent a moment. "The sex was incredible though." Eloise grinned and thought a moment, weighing her words.

"Sex with someone you truly love, who you are deeply committed to, who completely understands you can be amazing." She studied Mary's face again. " I know the physical aspect of a relationship is very important to you. I think that is what you had with your fiancé. But the emotional aspect is more important. And that is what you have with Marshall. You have an intense emotional relationship with him. Even though he has maybe never touched you." She noted Mary's quickly averted eyes and smiled softly. _Good for you Marshall. _"Or maybe he has. Anyway, I think you know the emotional part is more important, but are worried the physical part of it won't be there. He is a bit of a geek, but he's an adorable geek. Don't sell Marshall short in that arena. I've been sharing a bed with the man the last few nights." She gave an evil grin. "Believe me, he wouldn't disappoint."

Mary gaped at her. _Is she saying what I think she is? _Eloise tilted her head to the side and shook it gently. "Mary, he had his arms around me, had me pulled in against him. You know how men are in the morning." She paused and continued slowly. "He did that for me, held me close because he knew I needed it, even though it put him in an embarrassing position. He would be a considerate, thoughtful lover. He would be completely focused on making you happy." She watched Mary's face closely, debating how much more to say. She gingerly picked out her next words and entered the minefield, hoping Mary didn't explode.

"You shouldn't be afraid to love him Mary. He is worth the risk. He's waiting for you. I think he'll wait for you forever. Because he believes **you** are worth the risk."

Mary was staring at her, her befuddled brain trying to take in everything Eloise was saying, trying to believe it was true.

"I don't know if I can,"she whispered. Eloise sympathetically watched her struggle play out on her face and decided to take a lighter tack.

"Have you ever studied his hands? He has very nice hands, very gentle, long, slender fingers, soft skin, takes proper care of his nails. I don't know about you, but I find dirty fingernails very off putting. Just consider having those hands touch you." Mary's mind flooded with images that could get her arrested in some states while Eloise let her breath out in a whoosh. "And you should feel his abs, like a washboard! You wouldn't think it to look at him. His attention to me is totally protective in nature, but think about having all that attention focused on you in a sensual manner. It boggles the mind."

Mary was thinking just that, and was feeling a bit warm, when the door opened and Marshall returned with coffee in hand.


	7. Chapter 7 Through The Looking Glass

Chapter 7 – Through the Looking Glass

Both women turned to look at him and Marshall had the sudden feeling of being the prey trapped by its predator. A predator that was doing a team tag. "What?" he asked defensively as both women continued to look at him, Mary with a disconcerting gleam in her eye and Eloise with that way she had of seeing straight into the core of his being. He began to uneasily suspect he had been the subject of conversation between them. He narrowed his eyes as he looked at Eloise who flashed a beaming smile at him. She had told him a great deal about herself and her abilities in the hours they had spent together. Was she interfering? And would that be such a bad thing? If she helped him obtain his goal? He glanced at Mary.

"Coffee. Now." Mary said, her hand outstretched. Eloise was more demure, patiently waiting for Marshall to hand her the cup of hot liquid.

Eloise disappeared into the bathroom and shortly Marshall heard the shower running. He threw his jacket across the bed and pulled his phone out, moving over to the corner of the room and peering out the window while talking to Stan. He turned around to see Mary standing in front of the mirror over the dresser. He drank her in, the long blond tresses flowing over her shoulders, the curve of her waist, her shapely derrière, her long jean clad legs. His eyes traveled back up her body. As he watched, she slowly placed one hand uncertainly on her abdomen, her expression puzzled. Marshall closed the phone and moved over behind her, resting his hands lightly on her shoulders, piercing blue eyes meeting troubled green ones in the mirror.

"Talk to me Mary," he said softly. He held her gaze in the mirror and Mary swallowed. She couldn't look away from the intensity of his eyes.

"Eloise said carrying a baby was the closest one could possibly be to another person, because one would always have a part of that person... inside...growing...the joining together of two. I just was trying to imagine that..." she trailed off as she saw Marshall's eyes darken. He skimmed one hand slowly down her arm, his fingers barely grazing her breast, and moved around her waist, ruching up her top and splaying his palm against the bare skin of her abdomen. There was something very possessive about the gesture. She felt like he was branding her with the heat of his hand. _M is for Marshall...or Mine. _Mary normally hated anything that smacked of possessiveness, but somehow, the idea of belonging to Marshall didn't disturb her. Her expression softened. _Yes,_ she thought, _I would give myself to you totally. Because you would never try to own me, to force me into being someone_ _I'm not. _

He responded to the change in her eyes, his open palm on her abdomen moving across to close over her hip, pulling her back against him. She heard his breathing become more shallow, felt his body become taut. He was radiating heat from where they touched, from hips up to shoulders, his arm across her belly keeping her still, not allowing for escape. _Like I would want to escape this particular embrace. This feels right._ She watched him in the mirror, drawing her hair back away from her shoulder and leaning down to place an open, moist kiss where her shoulder met her neck. He kept his firm hold on her, trailing his other hand down her arm to tangle his fingers with hers. His thumb started tracing slow circles over her wrist, keeping a slight pressure on her pulse.

"I think that Eloise is very insightful. And very much in love. That is the best description of the ultimate opening up to another person I have ever heard." He gaze bored into her. Mary closed her eyes and let her head fall back against his shoulder. She covered his hand on her belly with her own, holding him close against her. He bent down and placed another kiss below her collarbone, just above the swell of her breast. Her pulse started to race, as his warm breath caused goosebumps on her exposed flesh above her low cut top.

"Do you want kids Marshall?" she asked in a small voice. His hand was very warm on her skin. He rubbed his palm gently across her belly, an intimate gesture that made her catch her breath. She hadn't felt this exposed, this vulnerable, when she was totally naked with other lovers. _Did I just classify Marshall as a lover? _How could he do this with just a touch? She had a prescient flash of Marshall standing behind her, arms around her, his palm tenderly cupping her swollen belly. The vision didn't scare her near as much as she would have thought.

"Yes," he said simply. "I do." Mary opened her eyes and met his gaze once more in the mirror. His eyes were smoky blue, hungry. _Wow. I've never seen that shade of blue before._

"Do you?" He continued to caress her abdomen. She was going to be that puddle of goo at his feet in a minute if he kept this up.

"I don't know. Maybe." She slowly turned around to look at him directly, finding she missed the warmth of his hand as he released her.

"I broke off my engagement with Raph yesterday." Marshall's surprise showed in his face. And a flash of hope. "You were right. He wouldn't make me happy." She searched his face, uncertain what she was looking for. He brought his hand up and cupped her cheek.

"How do you feel about that?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. Relieved and sad at the same time. Happy it's ended and there won't be any more arguments. Sad that I've hurt someone I really care about. I'm always doing that."

They turned as Eloise emerged from the bathroom and stepped apart. Marshall looked a long moment at Mary, trying to decipher her confused, unhappy expression, then ran his thumb lightly over her cheek before he turned and started packing up his bag and gathering Eloise's few belongings together.


	8. Chapter 8 Jacob

Chapter 8 – Jacob

Once they arrived at the office, a flurry of activity kept them busy the remainder of the day. Jacob's arrival and subsequent reunion with Eloise was both joyful and heart wrenching to watch. Jacob was compact and sturdily built and pure muscle. And what one would generously call plain, Mary thought. She observed his interactions with Eloise with interest. When he had entered through the security door and seen Eloise, his face lit up and she could see him check his impulse to rush towards her. He took a deep breath and visibly calmed himself, while Eloise waited quietly where she stood next to Marshall, gripping his hand so hard Mary saw him wince. Mary realized Jacob was trying to prevent Eloise from experiencing an overwhelming rush of his emotions. He didn't want her to feel discomfort. Mary's opinion of him went up a notch.

After several moments, Jacob walked slowly towards Eloise and held out his hand. Eloise closed her eyes, took a deep breath and slowly stretched out to gently clasp it. They stood and looked at each other until Eloise just sank into him. Jacob wrapped his arms around her so tightly, Mary was concerned he might hurt her. He spoke quietly into her ear and started shaking. Mary realized with surprise that he was sobbing. Eloise gently rubbed her hand up and down his back, trying to calm him. Marshall had to pull Mary away to give them a few minutes of privacy. She grumbled as they left the conference room and slunk away to her desk.

Jacob showed by many small gestures how much he cared about Eloise and she was absolutely glowing in his presence. By the end of the day Mary had ceased to see his homely appearance. Eloise delivered her big news to Jacob once they were left alone. Mary watched through the window with some amusement as he turned ashen and had to sit down. After a minute he looked up, a broad smile crossing his face, said something to which Eloise nodded, and he leaned forward, very gently touching her abdomen. Mary had to turn away. It was too private a moment for an audience.

Marshall entered the conference room when Eloise left to use the restroom. He had been observing Jacob keenly, assessing. His protective instincts had kicked into overdrive with Eloise, and he wanted to reassure himself that Jacob would treat her well. What he had seen so far was positive.

"So, Jacob, how are you holding up?" Marshall eyed him sitting hunched over, his head in his hands.

Jacob looked at him somewhat vacantly. "I'm going to be a dad." Marshall smiled and nodded.

"I know. You ok?" he asked with a bit of concern. Jacob brought his eyes up to his, leaned forward slightly.

"What if I'm not a good father to this child? What if I let Eloise down? I don't know anything about kids. What if I suck?" Worry colored his voice. "I mean I'm happy, but I think I'm more scared. Eloise is so confidant, so sure."

Marshall looked at him steadily and said with a solemn face, "Let's face it. What you're worried about is being in the delivery room and staying upright."

Jacob stared at him, then cracked a grin. "Are you empathic too?" he asked.

"No," Marshall replied, matching his grin, "just a normal guy. We all worry about that. But believe me, you were there at the beginning of this, and delighted to be so I expect, so you had better be there at the end. She's going to need you and she can't be worried about you passed out on the floor as she delivers. So find a way to get over it." He paused and leaned forward also. "Look Jacob, parenthood is on the job training. You love Eloise. You will love this child. You'll figure it out together."

Jacob was silent a moment. "There won't be any family to help out or go to with questions."

Marshall clapped a hand on his shoulder. "I know this is hard. You'll make friends that will be able to help you navigate through this. Mary and I will be there to help you." He paused, glanced out the window. "Not entirely sure how much help Mary will be with the baby, but she'll try. Or at least she'll try to offer up my services." His gaze lingered on her. He looked back at Jacob. "I know you have had a lot to absorb in one day. I see in your file that you are a master plumber. You won't have any problem finding a job here. We can get your license transferred into your new name. You'll be a good provider. That's one worry you won't have." Jacob nodded and gave a weak smile.

"Did you bring the engagement ring?" Jacob nodded. "Can I see it?" he asked hesitantly. Jacob fished the small box out of his backpack and handed it to Marshall. He slowly opened it and looked at the delicate ring, symbol of so much promise. It had two small diamonds, one to either side of a larger one, in a silver filigree setting. Two families joining together to make one new family. Marshall ran his finger lightly over the stones. So much meaning, so much emotion, contained in such a small object.

"It's perfect for her Jacob," he said in a low voice. Jacob flushed with pride.

"I picked it out myself. Eloise said the same thing. Let me tell you, that's a pressure cooker, picking out the right engagement ring." Marshall nodded in agreement, idly wondering what type of ring Mary would like. Nothing flashy, but not delicate either. Mary would want something plain, unobtrusive.

With a sigh, he brought his attention back to Jacob and handed the ring back to him.

When Eloise came back she saw Jacob and Marshall talking and sat down in Marshall's chair, placing her hand on her belly as she leaned back. Why is it pregnant women do that, Mary wondered. Is it a protective gesture or to feel closer to the baby? She would ask her one day.

"Aren't you going to go back in with Jacob?" she queried. Eloise brought her level gaze over to her.

"Jacob is a bit shell shocked. I want him to talk to Marshall. Marshall is so calm and level headed. He'll know what to say to Jacob to reassure him. Jacob will hear it better coming from another man. What he is feeling is perfectly normal, but Jacob doesn't realize that, not yet."

Mary cut her eyes back towards the conference room. "Marshall doesn't know squat about kids," she said, silently wondering if that were true. He probably had more experience with them than she did. With a bit of a shock she realized they had never discussed any interactions with kids. Mary didn't even know if he had nieces or nephews. How could she be so self absorbed? With an effort she wrenched her attention back to Eloise.

"But he does know about people. He'll know what to say. Plus I think he'll tell Jacob to buck up. He's rather squeamish about a lot of things. He needs to get over that. If he thinks for one minute he's getting out of the delivery room, he is going to be sadly disappointed."

Marshall left Jacob in the conference room and wandered over to Mary's desk, as Eloise joined Jacob again. "It's always the big ones that are the wusses," he said, nodding towards Jacob. "Trying to figure a way out of the delivery room already." Mary gave a wan smile and remained silent, returning to her paperwork. Marshall watched her, his brows knit together in worry. She had been subdued the entire day and it wasn't like her.

After paperwork was taken care of, the new witnesses were taken to their apartment. Mary left to get groceries and Marshall tried to help them settle in. After they looked through all the rooms and put away their few meager belongings, Eloise sat down on the sofa and Marshall joined her. She regarded his profile. He really was lovely. Time for a small nudge.

"You should talk to her soon," she said softly, " I think she's ready to listen now. It's like a weight has been lifted from her, but she's still conflicted. She needs reassurance."

He was silent, considering. "Mary needs her space. I don't want to crowd her." He really didn't want to discuss this right now. Marshall looked at her, studying her face and turned the tables. "How does it work with Jacob, since he can't keep anything secret from you?"

Eloise sighed. "He can keep secrets, just not his emotional state. It's difficult. I've never been able to hold on to a relationship for long, because of it. It makes it too one-sided. The only way is to be completely honest. Jacob has to be able to trust me 100%. Because I know if he lies or withholds, I have to be totally open with him. Which is why I'm going to tell him I've been sleeping with you the last few nights."

Marshall felt a slight alarm. "You sure that's best?" he asked uneasily, eying Jacob's very muscular body standing out on the balcony.

"Of course it is," she replied, a wry smile on her face. "Jacob won't be angry. He will be happy you were taking care of me. And I have to tell him. It's part of our arrangement. Total honesty."

"Then I'd prefer you phrase it as me sharing a bed in the course of protecting you, rather than sleeping with you. Connotations you know." He grinned down at her. Eloise looked up at him and smiled back, nodding her agreement.

Mary soon returned and while Marshall carried bags into the kitchen, Eloise observed Mary watching him, appreciating his lanky gracefulness as he bent down and stretched up, putting items away. She would have to go through later and rearrange, but she felt his need to be useful and left him to it. _A man that puts away groceries. If he cooks, he's perfect. _Of course her man could fix a toilet. That went a long way towards winning a girl over. She pulled Mary aside.

"Nice ass," she commented as they both watched him bending over once again. Mary cocked her head to the side, turned an appraising eye on Marshall's backside.

"Yes it is, isn't it?" They looked solemnly at each other and then burst out laughing. Marshall glanced over curiously and Eloise winked at him, then laid a light hand on Mary's arm.

"Don't forget what I said this morning. Don't be afraid." Deep chocolate eyes urged her. "Take the risk."

Mary dropped her eyes, noticed the engagement ring on Eloise's finger, small, delicate, understated, completely in character with Eloise.

"Did Jacob pick out your ring?" she asked. Eloise nodded. "He did a good job. He understands what would suit you." Mary eyes roved back to Marshall. He would understand what would suit her, on every level. Mary knew this in every fiber of her being. She looked back at Eloise. "I'm trying," she whispered, "to take the risk. But I'm so scared of hurting him."

"He's hurting without you. Take. The. Risk. Trust me on this one," Eloise urged and dropped her hand as Marshall ambled over towards them.

They arranged to return the next day to check on them and made their goodbyes. Marshall turned back and looked at the two standing in the doorway to the apartment, Jacob's arm protectively around Eloise's shoulders, where his own arm had been so often the last few days. Eloise met Marshall's gaze and smiled. He felt her thank you through that brilliant smile, for protecting her, for bringing Jacob to her, for understanding her. Yes, he thought regarding them both, this was right. They were going to do just fine.


	9. Chapter 9 A Mann for All Seasons

Chapter 9 – A Mann for All Seasons

Mary was very quiet on the ride back to the office. Her mind swirled with unsettled questions as the streets of Albuquerque flew by. She glanced at Marshall, his attention focused on the road, hands firmly on the steering wheel. Her heart gave that little lift that was becoming familiar. Eloise was right. Marshall was worth the risk, but she couldn't bear the thought of being a disappointment to him, of hurting him. She looked back out the window, noted how low the sun was getting. They must have spent more time with Eloise and Jacob than she realized. After pulling into the parking lot and cutting the engine, Marshall turned to look at her, putting a gentle hand on her arm to stop her from getting out of the SUV. Mary felt oddly disconnected, aware of disjointed things, the warmth of the late day sun spilling into the front seat, the car next to them parked at an odd angle, Marshall's nearly empty coffee cup sitting in the holder.

"What is it?" he asked, watching her carefully. She stared at his hand on her arm, noting his long, slender fingers, the nicely groomed fingernails, _hell, Eloise was right, his nails look nicer than mine_, _going to have to investigate that a little further, _aware of the warmth and strength of those fingers even through her jacket. Thought about those fingers...wandering, exploring. Realized with a jolt she didn't want any fingers other than Marshall's to ever touch her again.

She skittered away from that thought and from looking at him directly, chose to gaze at the top button of his shirt instead. _Deep purple shirt, white_ _button._ He waited patiently for her to gather her thoughts, her courage too maybe?

"Remember out on the mountain?" she queried in a low voice.

Marshall's lips quirked. _As if I could forget that. _"Yes, of course." A hint of amusement in his tone.

Mary scowled slightly. "You asked me to think about you...about us...as a couple. I've been trying to do that. To figure out what I feel, what I want. To understand why I've been jealous as hell of Eloise every night." She felt a sob threatening to rise up in her chest, and rushed to get the words out while she could. Her voice cracked. "I don't know what to do." It was almost a wail. "I don't want to jeopardize our friendship, our partnership. But you mean more to me than probably any single other person. I can't imagine life without you Marshall. I don't want to. But I'm a walking wreck and I don't want to saddle you with that. I couldn't bear to hurt you."

Marshall favored her with the slow smile that made her stomach flip and end up somewhere down around her toes. "You're worried that you are too dysfunctional for me? The person I have spent more time with over the past four years than any other, the person I choose to spend all my time with? You're afraid you're going to hurt me? You silly goose, don't you realize I love all of you, that dysfunction is part of your charm?"

He traced the curve of her jaw with the back of his finger, gently tugged at her earlobe, playing with her earring. He brought his fingers back down under her chin and gently lifted up, forcing her to look at him. "I know you Mary. I know exactly what I am getting with you. It's what I want. You are what I want. You and me, we complement each other. I provide the stability you need and you keep me from descending into dullness. I reign you in, to the extent that is possible, and keep you from causing harm when you act without thinking. You force me to think with a wider scope of possibility to get the job done. I give you somewhere to go when you don't want to go home. You keep me from unbearable loneliness. We fill in each others holes."

Mary's mind was whirling, struggling to take in and accept what Marshall was saying. She focused on his last statement as the easiest to deal with.

"So I'm a pothole and you're the streets and sanitation department?" She had an image of Marshall on the asphalt, in a sleeveless undershirt, swinging a shovel, filling in said pothole, sweat glistening on his biceps. _Oh my._ She shook her head. "Unbelievable."

He leaned in towards her as he chuckled and she felt the deep timbre of his laugh vibrate through her body. He was close enough she could feel the warmth of his breath on her cheek. He kept his eyes focused on hers.

"Oh, I think I'm more than a municipal employee. In the famous words of Tom Cruise, 'you complete me'. And, I think I complete you." He brought his eyes down to her lips, let his hand slip around her neck and pulled her towards him, for a soft, gentle kiss, with a hint of heat behind it.

"Tell me what you need," he whispered into her mouth. As he had so many times before. He was always there for her. Could she possibly make this work without hurting him? "Mary, let's make this journey together. This journey through life. You don't have to do it alone. I want you there beside me, as my partner, at work and at home. I want to share everything with you, heart, soul and body. I want to make a life with you. I want to go home with you each night. I want to wake up next to you every morning. I want to love you. I want you to let me love you. Please Mary, let me love you."

Her heart broke at the pleading in his voice. Those piercing blue eyes bored into hers, and Mary fell into their depths, full of affection, love and desire. Could he possibly love the mess that was her? She felt hot tears prick her eyes, and finally gave up the struggle and let them slide down her cheeks, as she finally accepted the truth that had been in front of her for so long. She reached up and covered his hand with her own, drawing it down and turning his palm up to place a warm kiss in it.

"I'll tell you what I need. It's you, every day, being my rock, keeping me from flying off the deep end, getting my back, loving me." She kissed his wrist, felt his pulse quicken. "You told me on that mountain you wanted me to be happy. This is making me happy because you," she poked him gently in the chest, "you are what I need Marshall."

Marshall's lips turned up in a soft smile. "Really?" Mary gave a low chuckle. He was like a little boy who couldn't believe his good luck. She leaned over and kissed him affectionately, let her lips linger, full of promise.

"Really," she whispered, looking at him with happy eyes. It wouldn't be easy, but with Marshall she had found an equal, someone who would walk beside her, who wouldn't try to change her, who accepted her as she was, who loved her unconditionally. She twined her fingers with his and squeezed his hand. "Really."

The End

***** Thanks to everyone who came along for the ride. This was my first effort at this and I appreciate all the kind words I've received. **


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